Ranking Every Bluey Episode (76-49)
As I said yesterday: Every episode of Bluey is great. It’s a fundamentally amazing show. But even within greatness, there are tiers. Some of them are regular run-of-the-mill great, while some of them are make-you-sit-back-in-your-chair-in-awe amazing.
(Check out my ranking of Bluey episodes 104-77.)
Today’s ranked episodes are … neither of those, really. They’re better than the lowest tier of greatness, but they aren’t out here making me rethink what is possible in children’s television. They’re very good, because all Bluey episodes are very good. But that’s where it’s capped.
#76: Backpackers, Ep. 1.36
As I mentioned in yesterday’s edition, the Muffin/Socks episodes are generally going to rank on the low side for me. This one is light on their worse qualities, but they still force their way in. I do love the running gag of the lawn gnome named Jeremy throughout the series, though.
#75: Trampoline, Ep. 1.33
Trampolines have limited utility. If you’re between the ages of, say, 11 and 30, you can have fun on a trampoline for about 30 seconds at a time. But man, if you’re younger than that range, or if you’re beyond the range but with little kids, trampolines are the greatest things in the world. We had a trampoline at our old house, but we moved in January and there’s just no spot for a trampoline here. I feel bad that the kids don’t get to have one anymore.
#74: Fancy Restaurant, Ep. 2.17
Listen, I fancy myself a good dad. Not Bandit-level, but I’m not out here crushing my kids’ dreams or whatever. But I don’t care how sad it makes my kid, you aren’t making me eat “a bunch of random crap we mashed together” to make you happy. You can be sad for a few seconds and then we’ll talk it out. Sorry kids, love you anyway.
#73: Teasing, Ep. 1.48
This episode’s been axed from Disney+ (though it’s still in rotation on the over-the-air TV), because of the use of “Oogabooga.” Apparently it’s been re-dubbed as “Shooby-Doowah” on TV, but they just skip it on streaming. I’ve seen it, though. It’s a very cute flashback-heavy episode, though sure, I can see why people might be a little bugged by the way Bandit punches down a bit in messing with the kids.
#72: Hotel, Ep. 1.10
If I have one complaint about Bluey overall, it’s that some of the plots get a bit too redundant. “The kids want Bandit to play X way, he doesn’t, but then he indulges them, and they all learn a lesson” has happened a dozen times by now. This episode has another — Bluey talks over and ignores Bingo, right up until Bingo loses her temper and quits, at which point Bluey listens to Bingo and does what Bingo wanted the whole time. Lather, rinse, repeat. It always works, but they need to stretch their muscles a bit.
#71: Daddy Dropoff, Ep. 2.08
I like the Lila introduction (and apparently she’s around more in the third season). I think it’s hilarious that the producers appeared to have forgotten she (and Socks and Muffin) existed when they got to “Handstand” later in the season and just slapped up a “deleted scene!” that was just a picture of the three of them watching TV.
Anyway, my kids love to play Walk Straight, only for a while they didn’t really get it, so Lucas would tell me to play Walk Straight, and then I’d wobble him back and forth, and he’d admonish me for not going straight, completely not understanding the point of the game. Regardless, it’s fun, although when you go on a mile walk and have to play Walk Straight for 5,279 of the 5,280 feet, it somewhat loses its appeal.
#70: Burger Shop, Ep. 2.32
I can see myself trying the “Give them autonomy, let them decide for themselves when to get out of the tub” parenting technique. That’s plausible. And when it would end is the exact minute when they’re trying to think of a burger special and go “Hm, pickle burger.” Nope, y’all get out of the tub right this instant, you’re trying to poison your dad and that’s not cool.”
(Pickles are disgusting.)
#69: Kids, Ep. 1.45
Here’s another example of Bandit being maybe too indulgent? Like, play your kid’s game, but when your kid makes it impossible for you to do your chore, hey kid, cut that crap out. Bluey needs a no every now and then.
#68: The Weekend, Ep. 1.06
So there’s a bit right near the beginning of this episode where Bluey delivers Bandit a drumstick that supposedly came in the mail, and Bandit goes on a mini-drum solo around the table while Bingo dances. And watching it back when I first started on my Bluey journey, I could tell it was done just slightly different from the other episodes (including where the table is even situated). I remember saying to my wife, “I know this is the sixth episode, but I bet this is the first one they made before they totally figured the show out, maybe as a test pilot or whatever.” And she (understandably) rolled her eyes at me.
Later, I read an article that confirmed my suspicions. Basically, I am the pre-eminent Bluey scholar of our time.
#67: The Sleepover, Ep. 1.39
When the boys were about a year and a half, we put them down for a nap, left their door cracked, and went downstairs. A few minutes later, we heard a small crash — enough that we were curious, but nothing that felt like we needed to run up and investigate. Maybe they were just being slow-to-fall-asleep kids, who knows. A few minutes later … Jordan comes running out of the bedroom and laughs down to us.
This was a crib. He had previously shown no climb-out-of-a-crib proclivity. We were flummoxed. We investigated. Apparently, this little jerk of a child had spent the “go to sleep” time banging at the point where the bed part of the crib met the vertical slats, hitting it just right like he was a dang velociraptor until the slats gave way. The bang we had heard was the bed falling loose, after which he had pushed the slats aside and crawled out. He gathered up every toy he could find and tossed them into Lucas’ crib (these boys are so damn protective of one another) and then left.
So he needed a new place to sleep. But it seemed silly to buy a whole new crib for only a few more months of crib time, so the boys got their big-boy beds a bit early. And the upshot was … we never got naps again. They stopped napping so early. It very much was not fair.
#66: Bad Mood, Ep. 2.40
Lucas misunderstood “Bad Mood” to mean “Bamboo,” so he asks if he can play “Bamboo” all the time and it’s weird.
#65: Daddy Putdown, Ep. 1.51
When you see “Come Here and Go Away” on the TV, you think, “Oh that’s cute, I should play that the next time the kids are on the swing.” And then the next time the kids are on the swing, you realize that Bluey is a cartoon, and therefore they can make the kids be “away” for far longer than physics actually allows, and when you play “Come Here and Go Away” in real life, it just involves you babbling at the speed of an auctioneer and it wears thin real fast.
The kids love it, though.
#64: Helicopter, Ep. 2.25
I guess the message of this episode is about learning to accept things that change, like when Bluey’s helicopter has to become a plane, so she understands she can’t go to Honey’s, but then at the end of the episode she thinks she’s going to Honey’s again, and … I don’t know, I get it, but it’s weird.
#63: The Beach, Ep. 1.26
At the end of this episode, Bluey is telling Chilli how she walked all that way to get to where Chilli was, and Chilli goes “Past the jellyfish?!”, because Bluey had to go around a jellyfish to get there. Only I’m very dumb, and the first … I don’t know, bajillion times I saw it, I thought she was saying “Pass the jellyfish!” like it was some sort of Australian slang saying like “Holy crap, you’re amazing.” I had no idea why that would be Australian slang, but I kind of liked it.
#62: Mums and Dads, Ep. 1.41
“Duck Cake” and “Handstand” are the better set of two-parters than this and “Early Baby,” but it’s still fun when that happens.
#61: Piggyback, Ep. 2.18
“Kid is too tired to do X until X becomes something fun to do” is the most universal thing of all time.
#60: Hospital, Ep. 1.02
Honestly surprised Bandit thinking Bingo drew a “pot plant” made it to American audiences without being censored.
#59: The Dump, Ep. 1.34
Are cars more colorful in Australia? You give me a month and I’m not gonna see every color of car, and Bingo got there on one outing.
#58: Favourite Thing, Ep. 2.07
Good about this episode: The “trifficult” was a clever portmanteau to be the catalyst. The imaginary sequence of the falling hippo was kid-funny. The final joke worked really well.
Bad about this episode: My dang kids try to get me to say “Dad Nose Nothing” all. The. Freaking. Time.
#57: Cafe, Ep. 2.35
I wonder how many times someone on the writing staff suggested naming one of the character “Fido” only to be dismissed for being too much of a stereotype before getting to this (maybe?) one-off character who was just some kid’s dad and someone went “Sigh, fine.”
#56: Asparagus, Ep. 1.49
Listen, I know these are good parents who indulge their children, but this episode means that indulgence has to include (a) literally attacking/trying to eat the next-door neighbor and (b) almost peeing on the rug. I doubt Bandit actually would have peed on the rug, but … I’m not altogether sure.
#55: Markets, Ep. 1.20
Most of the changes they made for U.S. audiences feel pretty puritanical and/or unnecessary. But in this episode, the American audiences don’t get to see the clip of Buttermilk pooping and grossing out Bluey and Indy, and … I mean, it’s gross. I don’t feel deprived by that not showing up when we watch.
Also, five bucks is a lot for a damn tooth.
#54: Bingo, Ep. 2.09
This one is great, but … it’s episode 2.09, and Bingo just “missed out” in Featherwand, episode 2.03. Maybe she should be used to not going along with stuff by now?
#53: Early Baby, Ep. 1.40
Playing “Early Baby” because you just got a baby sister who was premature feels like the most like-a-kid thing in the world (and it’s a close variant to what Bluey did in Copycat). I would bet dollars to donuts that the writer(s) of this episode just wanted to do that, but they realized there wasn’t enough for a full seven-minute runtime, so they had to add the Rusty/Snickers/Coco side of things, and … it made it that much better.
#52: BBQ, Ep. 1.07
So there’s a bit late in this episode where Bingo finally gets to sit in her relaxing chair, only for Chilli to see all her muddy footprints and yell for them to get cleaned up, and Bingo’s eyes go wide and then get sad. We have the DVD and the boys watch it in the car and it was clear as day. Only … the Disney+ version was screwed up, and Chilli’s voice was gone, so all we saw was Bingo sit in the chair for a second, then suddenly have her eyes go wide and then get sad. It was clearly a glitch, but the upshot was it actually just looked like this little child realized she had made a mess and cleaned it herself. They fixed the glitch eventually, but I liked the alternate interpretation.
#51: Easter, Ep. 2,52
“There’s a castle in London! We have to get to the airport!” might be the funniest actual moment in the entire series.
#50: Swim School, Ep. 2.34
Gotta be the only episode of TV in the world where “A girl gulps up a mouthful of water that contains her dad’s pee” is used for laughs. But it works.
#49: Dad Baby, Ep. 2.13
So, a story: My wife was upstairs giving the boys a bath a few weeks ago. I had finished doing the dishes and such, so I settled on the couch to await their arrival and turned Bluey on because I knew they’d want to watch it. I wasn’t really paying attention, but something on whatever was on pinged my radar right as an episode ended. The next one started before it occurred to me, and that would have meant exiting the episode, keying up the previous one, fast-forwarding … it was a bunch of nonsense. So instead I keyed up the Bluey wiki to try to find whatever had happened.
If it feels like I’m being unnecessarily vague about what caught my attention, it’s because I don’t remember what it was. Because I brought up an episode list and saw “Dad Baby” in there, and was like “Wait, what the heck is Dad Baby.” Turns out it was an episode that didn’t get released in the U.S. Well, I needed to see it. I knew if I paused the TV to watch something on my phone my wife would hear it and wonder what I was doing, so I just brought it up on my phone to watch it quietly there while the regular show played on the TV. Which turned out to be a big mistake, because Laurie left the boys to play for a moment and came out on our second-floor landing, where she saw her 38-year-old husband, by himself, watching Bluey on the television while watching a different Bluey on his phone. She Snapchatted me. She sent it to our friends. She invited mockery upon me.
Later, I showed her the episode so as to explain my dorkiness. And she literally laughed out loud and sent it to all her friends who had been pregnant to tell them to watch as well. Reader, I felt extremely vindicated.