Fantasy rosters of the century, Nos. 25-32

Finding the best NFL team since 2000 isn’t very interesting. The Patriots have 237 wins; the Steelers are second at 205. New England is so far out in front that the only conversation is whether the team is actually its own tier (and it probably is).

But what team has the best fantasy roster since 2000? That’s way more interesting. (At least, it is to me.) So over the next few days, I’m going to count down the best fantasy roster of each team since 2000.

The structure: PPR scoring, 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 flex, 1 K, no defense because getting those scores is more time-consuming and difficult and really, who cares about defense? (Or I’m lazy, but still.) I considered limiting it to one season for each players (so Calvin Johnson, for example, could only appear on the Lions list once), but decided against it because … well, why do that? I’m trying to find the best fantasy roster, and imposing artificial limitations seems silly.

I’ll count them down, 32 to 1, over the next four days. Today, it’s the bottom eight.

(Special thanks to the Football Reference Play Index for the help here.)

No. 32: Buffalo Bills (2,234.2 points)

QB: Josh Allen, 2019
RB: LeSean McCoy, 2016; Travis Henry, 2002
WR: Eric Moulds, 2002; Peerless Price, 2002; Eric Moulds 2000
TE: Charles Clay, 2016
Flex: LeSean McCoy, 2017
K: Dan Carpenter, 2014

The Bills are the only team in the league to not have a single player crack 300 points in a season this century — and in fact, since Thurman Thomas in 1992. Thomas (four times) and O.J. Simpson in 1975 are the only Bills to ever crack the 300 mark. Every team has had at least a player or two put up some historic numbers at some point this century, but the Bills are just cruising along, being boring. You could have ignored the Bills in fantasy all century and you probably wouldn’t have been much worse off.

No. 31: Miami Dolphins (2,282.2)

QB: Ryan Tannehill, 2014
RB: Ricky Williams, 2002; Ricky Williams, 2003
WR: Jarvis Landry, 2015; Chris Chambers, 2005; Jarvis Landry, 2017
TE: Charles Clay, 2013
Flex: Lamar Smith, 2000
K: Caleb Sturgis, 2014

Charles Clay again! It remains just hilarious to me that Charles freaking Clay has been the best fantasy tight end in better than a generation of football for two different teams. This isn’t Jimmy Graham. This isn’t even Greg Olsen. This is Charles freaking Clay, and it’s not even out of the realm of possibility that he could set the mark for the Cardinals as well; they have the lowest “best tight end” of any team.

Anyway, the Dolphins haven’t had a lot of big performers, with just a few names (primarily Williams and Landry) coming in and setting franchise marks. Not much diversification here.

No. 30: Cleveland Browns (2,287.6)

QB: Derek Anderson, 2007
RB: Peyton Hillis, 2010; Nick Chubb, 2019
WR: Josh Gordon, 2013; Braylon Edwards, 2007; Kevin Johnson, 2001
TE: Gary Barnidge, 2015
Flex: Trent Richardson, 2012
K: Phil Dawson, 2012

The only surprise (for me at least) is that the Browns didn’t come in last. Other than Gordon’s monster 2013, the team hasn’t had much in the way of star performances. On the other hand, it popped up with enough “meh, that’s okay, I guess” to at least elevate it over the bottom of the AFC East. I have no choice but to laugh at Derek Anderson being on this list, though.

No. 29: Washington (2,308.2)

QB: Robert Griffin III, 2012
RB: Clinton Portis, 2007; Clinton Portis, 2005
WR: Santana Moss, 2005; Pierre Garcon, 2013; Laveranues Coles, 2003
TE: Jordan Reed, 2015
Flex: Stephen Davis, 2000
K: Dustin Hopkins, 2016

Four of the top five fantasy seasons for Washington this century have come from quarterbacks, with Kirk Cousins putting up QB seasons No. 2, 3, and 4. This is a team that hasn’t been able to have much in the way of big-time receivers in a long time, and has only had Griffin and Cousins (once each) top 300 points. The only seasons here that really stand out as fantasy musts were Griffin’s 2012 and Reed’s 2015.

No. 28: Cincinnati Bengals (2,321.2)

QB: Andy Dalton, 2013
RB: Corey Dillon, 2001; Rudi Johnson, 2005
WR: A.J. Green, 2013; A.J. Green, 2012; T.J. Houshmandzadeh, 2007
TE: Tyler Eifert, 2015
Flex: Chad Johnson, 2005
K: Mike Nugent, 2011

Am I the only one surprised Houshmandzadeh had a better season with the Bengals than Chad Johnson ever did? I assumed Johnson would beat any Bengals receiver but Green, and maybe even him. Meanwhile, the Bengals have had slightly above-average fantasy running backs for most of the century (Dillon and Johnson and Jeremy Hill and Giovani Bernard and Joe Mixon), but they’ve just never had a star at the position.

No. 27: Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2,345.3)

QB: Jameis Winston, 2019
RB: Doug Martin, 2012; Warrick Dunn, 2000
WR: Mike Evans, 2016; Mike Evans, 2018; Chris Godwin, 2019
TE: Kellen Winslow, 2009
Flex: Joey Galloway, 2005
K: Martin Gramatica, 2002

Other than Martin’s rookie season, the Buccaneers have been dotted by a lot of very good fantasy performances and very few great ones. I didn’t do this research, but I’d bet that the Buccaneers’ B team (Winston’s 2015, some Vincent Jackson, some more Mike Evans) would have been one of the top B teams around the league.

No. 26: Las Vegas Raiders (2,347.7)

QB: Rich Gannon, 2002
RB: Charlie Garner, 2002; LaMont Jordan, 2005
WR: Tim Brown, 2001; Tim Brown, 2000; Jerry Rice, 2002
TE: Darren Waller, 2019
Flex: Jerry Rice, 2001
K: Sebastian Janikowski, 2010

If not for Waller’s season last year, the Raiders wouldn’t have had a name appear on this list in almost a decade, which is saying something in a league where offense has exploded. This team has just refused to follow suit. But hey, Jordan is my brother’s all-time favorite player, so any excuse to mention him, I guess.

No. 25: New York Jets (2,368.0)

QB: Ryan Fitzpatrick, 2015
RB: Curtis Martin, 2004; Curtis Martin, 2000
WR: Brandon Marshall, 2015; Eric Decker, 2015; Laveranues Coles, 2002
TE: Dustin Keller, 2011
Flex: Curtis Martin, 2001
K: Jason Myers, 2018

Well, this is basically “Curtis Martin plus the 2015 team.” I mean, there are worse things to be — that 2015 Jets team was one of the most out-of-nowhere star performances we’ve had — but there’s not exactly a lot of mishmash here. I will always wonder if Keller could have had a super successful career without his big injury, though.

(Also, a hearty LOL at three of the four AFC East teams coming in the bottom quarter of these rankings.)

(SATURDAY: Nos. 17-24, including an appearance from Brandon Pettigrew.)