Let’s fix Phase 10

Because we’re in quarantine and home all the time, and there are three adults in our house plus (half the time) a very wants-to-do-stuff 9-year-old, we play a lot of games after the boys go to bed. And one of those regular games is Phase 10. And I had a realization Saturday night:

The phase order is bullshit.

Have you played Phase 10? You get dealt cards, and you have a “task” to complete each hand. Complete it in one hand, you move to the next phase the next hand. And so on. In theory, you’d expect the phases to start easy and get gradually harder, like video game bosses. Maybe it’s not a steady, consistent climb, but that should the general idea.

The order:

So let’s talk about this.

Phase 1 — 2 sets of 3

This one is a good starting phase! Pretty easy, all things considered! The game has wild cards, so it’s not at all uncommon for someone to have two sets of 3 off the deal, and if they don’t, they get there within a few draws. Nice, easy start to the game.

Phase 2 — 1 set of 3, 1 run of 4

Now’s a good time to bring this up: Colors don’t matter in Phase 10 at all outside of one phase (Phase 7; we’ll get there). For all the other phases, you can be colorblind or just ignore the colors altogether. Why? Why have the colors at all if they only matter in one hand? In rummy, runs have to match suits. In this game? Nope! That’s dumb.

Anyway, this phase is not bad. Has a spot early in the game, which makes sense, but maybe it’s a little too early.

Phase 3 — 1 set of 4, 1 run of 4

Middle difficulty. Probably a bit too early. Not egregious.

Phase 4 — 1 run of 7

Seven cards in a row. 1-7 words, 6-12 works, anything in the middle of that works. Not very difficult. Should be early in the game, but perhaps should be earlier.

Phase 5 — 1 run of 8

Right in the center, and marginal difficulty.

Phase 6 — 1 run of 9

This one gets hard! You have 10 cards, and nine of them have to be in a row. There are only 12 numbers. So you have to have a 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9, and then three more. You don’t have a lot of room to maneuver. What the heck is it doing in the middle of the game?

And why do they put all three “run of” phases in a row? Break that crap up, y’all.

Phase 7 — 2 sets of 4

Also hard! There are eight of each number in the deck, so you need a full half of two different ones as 80% of your cards. (Yes, there are also wilds, but still.) For my money, this is the hardest phase … sitting right there at Phase 7, for some reason.

Phase 8 — 7 cards of a color

This is the only time the color matters! What the hell is up with that? Dumb. Also, this is either the single easiest phase or a close second behind Phase 1. What the hell is it doing as theoretically the third-hardest. If you want to have something of a palate-cleansing phase in the back half of the game, that’s fine, but this is like the skipping stone on your way to the end of the game.

Phase 9 — 1 set of 5 and 1 set of 2

This one sounds daunting, but it isn’t really. The set of two is like the cheat code half of the hand, because if there are 12 possible numbers and you’re dealt 10 cards, the chances of you not having at least a pair is something like negative-80% (I’m not gonna do the math). Getting five of a kind is tough, but … meh. This is not the second-hardest phase.

Phase 10 — 1 set of 5 and 1 set of 3

Genuinely hard (but not as hard as two sets of four). Rightfully late in the game, but probably not warranted to be the latest.

My wife plays the Phase 10 app, and in that game there are a bunch of other phases that get super complicated. But this is about the 10 phases in the base game, and come on, that’s a bunch of nonsense. First off, we have to incorporate another phase or two or three where the colors matter. Gotta do it.

But if we assume that isn’t a thing, then let’s reorder those suckers. I 100% believe the good folks at Mattel have tested the game to within an inch of its life, because that’s how things work, but I refuse to believe it’s been optimized. Lumping similar phases together for no apparent reason, easy phases after hard phases, it’s all just a mess.

So if we’re calling this “Daniel’s Phase 10,” using the same phases, here’s the order we’re going with:

Phase 1 — 2 sets of 3
Phase 2 — 1 run of 7
Phase 3 — 1 set of 3 and 1 run of 4
Phase 4 — 1 set of 4 and 1 run of 4
Phase 5 — 1 run of 8
Phase 6 — 7 cards of 1 color (palate cleanser!)
Phase 7 — 1 set of 5 and 1 set of 2
Phase 8 — 1 run of 9
Phase 9 — 1 set of 5 and 1 set of 3
Phase 10 — 2 sets of 4