Best Cards: Kevin Elster
(This is Best Cards Ever, a never-ending quest to find the single best baseball card of every player.)
If anyone thinks of Kevin Elster, it’s probably either of his exploits on the 1996 Rangers, when he had 99 RBI despite hitting out of the 9-slot in the batting order most of the year (that team’s offense was just stupid) or his background role as the shortstop in Little Big League. That’s not a lot for a ballplayer to hang his hat on, and that explains why his cards page on Check Out My Cards is only 187 cards long.
What I’m saying is, today’s entry will probably be the shortest one. Sorry Kevin, you didn’t give me a lot to work with.
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Kevin Elster
Career: 1986-2000 (NYM, NYY, PHI, TEX, PIT, LAD)
WAR: 6.2
Hall of Fame: Goodness no, didn’t even make the ballot.
I knew Elster wasn’t an all-time great or anything, but in my head, he had a better career than he did. If I had to guess, it’s because he was on the 1996 and 1998 Rangers (my favorite team), the first two playoff teams in the franchise history (though oddly, he wasn’t on the ’97 team), and 1996 was comfortably his best year in the ‘90s or later, when my baseball sensibilities were really forming. Also, I was a Mets fan as a super-tiny because of Gary Carter, and Elster was there too.
The end result was that his career was perfectly formulated to appeal to me and just about only me. So yeah, I know he wasn’t an all-timer, but I was surprised he only had 6.2 career WAR. I was surprised he didn’t even appear on the Hall of Fame ballot. Oh well. He was still a long-time big-leaguer. That’s pretty cool.
(As always, thanks to Check Out My Cards for being able to track these down.)
The worst Kevin Elster card
1990 Simon & Schuster Little Big Leaguers Book Cards #KEEL
Okay, listen, I’m not one to make fun of little kids. But, like, guys, if you couldn’t find a non-cross-eyed picture of Baby Kevin for this, then you shoulda just not bothered. This wasn’t Cal Ripken or whatever. This wasn’t some player who had to be included. This was Kevin Elster. Nobody was going to blink if you just didn’t use him. Instead little cross-eyed Kevin is out there permanently, even though dude was 25 when the card came out. And he was a 25-year-old who hit .207/.274/.363 in 1990! You really could have just not.
Honorable mention
These aren’t the best of his cards. Sometimes they aren’t even that good. But they need to be mentioned one way or another.
1987 TCMA/CMC International League All-Stars/Future Stars #1987-6
See, ya jerks at Simon & Schuster? He ain’t cross-eyed. Y’all coulda tried harder.
1987 Fleer #7
Photo from “When things were good and no one suspected a thing”-lookin’ ass card.
1997 Donruss #150
I think I’ve raised this question before, but I still don’t know the answer. On cards like this, where the player is clearly not performing at his peak and looks kinda like a doof, what happened:
The photographer didn’t get enough good pictures of a certain guy, so they had to settle for what they could get;
Either the photographer or the picture-chooser doesn’t know enough about sports to know when someone looks kinda like a doof;
Everyone involved knows the guy looks doofy, but picks the picture anyway, either because they’re mean or it’s funny.
It would be funniest if the third one is the answer, but I bet it’s the first. Either way, bad picture, guys.
1997 Donruss #333
Gotta love cards of non-pitchers in jackets. It’s just as non-baseball as it can be. (Kevin Elster seriously got two cards in the 1997 Donruss set. The world of baseball cards in the ‘90s was just the Purge, y’all.)
1992 Donruss Triple Play #66
I’ve said before how I love this set, even looking back now. But man, the trivia questions were so damn silly. Maybe I’m just good at reverse-reading, but I refuse to believe anyone who could read wouldn’t be able to read the mirror-answer instantly. Couldn’t they at least have pushed the answer down to the bottom of the card or made it smaller or something?
And now, the top three Kevin Elster cards of all time.
3. 1998 Upper Deck Collector’s Choice #514
I love this card because you can just about read Elster’s thoughts saying “Man, last time I was on this team I had 24 homers and 99 RBI and I was Comeback Player of the Year, and now it’s two years later and I’m hitting .232/.311/.354, this is bullshit.”
2. 1991 Topps Stadium Club #149
In 1990, as I mentioned, Elster had no bat at all. He put up a 74 OPS+ in 92 games and managed only a .274 OBP. So it’s absolutely fantastic that he’s looking at his bat (labeled just “Elster,” like he’s a one-name celebrity or something) like he has no idea what this stick of wood is for. “I will wave you around and hope something good happens,” he’s thinking. “But it probably won’t.”
Anyway, I like the framing on this card. It’s like a soap opera. I’m not entirely sure why.
1. 1997 Pinnacle #67
I’ve said it before, but some card company should do an entire set of just players in alternate uniforms/throwback jerseys/old-timey outfits. Just completely ignore that current year’s uniforms and have fun with weird looks. I would collect the hell out of that set.