A story of incest (not really)

I long assumed everyone knew the ins and outs of Watergate and All the President’s Men. Then again, I grew up wanting to be a journalist from, like, age 5, so it was important to me in a way it wasn’t to a lot of people. My mom’s a physical therapist and often assumes I know the name of some persnickety little body part that doesn’t matter one little bit unless you tear it. Same sort of thing.

More than a decade ago (2007, I believe was when this happened), I was working as a copy editor for the Georgetown News-Graphic in Georgetown, Kentucky. I don’t remember what was going on, but there was some kerfuffle with the horse industry in the area that we were trying to find out more about, but no one would tell us anything. It was getting frustrating, because we were sure there was a story there for us if we could find it, but we were just getting stonewalled.

(This story kind of loses efficacy with the fact that I don’t remember what the news was, but oh well.)

Eventually, it occurred to me that my sister was working as a horse vet in Lexington, and there was every chance she’d know what was going on. So I called her. She didn’t know what it was (or said she didn’t), and said she probably couldn’t tell me even if she did.

“Come on, Jen,” I said, “you can be my Deep Throat.”

A pause.

Another pause.

Then, very hesitant, “…You want me to give you deepthroat?”

My sister knew about the Watergate affair. What she, I learned in that moment, did not know (or at least didn’t remember) was that the informant in the scandal that leaked news to the press went by the nickname Deep Throat. And if you don’t know that little bit of information, requesting “deepthroat” from someone has a very different and less socially acceptable meaning, doubly so if the person you are requesting it of is, you know, your sister.

I clarified. We hung up in embarrassment. To my recollection, the paper never found the scoop, so either the conspiracy continues or it was never that big a deal to begin with.

But I’ve spent close to 13 years now very careful to never request anyone act as my “Deep Throat” again.